I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
