TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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