is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
