FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
