I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
