I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
