Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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