Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm passing your future prison.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
