Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
