Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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