I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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