sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
