Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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