You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
