I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
