I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
