god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
