Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
