They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
