wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
