i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
