I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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