Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
where are my eyebrows?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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