Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need to sanitize my soul.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize