Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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