Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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