Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
found the other keg... it's in the tree
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
