ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
