even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
As shirtless as possible
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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