You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
