it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
