sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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