I need help removing her.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
