dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
