We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think your dad took our porno
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Terrible idea I love it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
