ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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