Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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