There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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