apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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