i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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