Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
