This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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