We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize