he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
