i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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