This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
