and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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