dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
