I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
