Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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