mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
