Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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