I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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