cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
