No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
