Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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