I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i barfeds in our rink
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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