Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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