I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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