dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well I just put wine in my tea
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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