Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You need Xanax blowdarts
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
