I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
