I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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