yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
