He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
