dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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